


(She dies)

by GirlyPhantom



Category: Hamlet (1990), Hamlet (1996), Hamlet (2009), Hamlet - All Media Types, Hamlet - Shakespeare, SHAKESPEARE William - Works
Genre: Alternate Canon, Canon Era, Canon Universe, Canonical Character Death, Crack, Dark Crack, Evil, Gen, John Mulaney References, Murder, Oops, Piss, Twisted, bitch, chaotic - Freeform, dont ask why i wrote this i dont know either, i am dumbass, i swear i dont hate you, im so sorry grace, peepee, this is the only thing that has brought me joy in an hour, this isnt how i played gertrude but it would have been so much funnier if i did, you were a great ophelia this is just my terrible choice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-04-18
Packaged: 2021-02-23 10:40:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23710183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GirlyPhantom/pseuds/GirlyPhantom
Summary: The one where Gertrude fuckin yeets Ophelia
Relationships: Claudius/Gertrude (Hamlet)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 4





	(She dies)

**Author's Note:**

> so,,,,,,,, crack fic,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Gertrude watched Ophelia skip along with bouquets of flowers in hand. The older women knew what she had to do.

Another one of the their family was bound to die, leaving only Laertes and now it was Gertrude's turn to murder. Exciting.

Hamlet had, her second husband, Claudius, had, and now it was her turn. It was clear Ophelia's insanity was false, her 'insane' chanting had understanding, just like Hamlet's did. Claudius's original thought that her son was faking his insanity was thought true, and she wasn't about to go around and let Ophelia's falsehood go as far as his did. The mother figure called out to the young girl.

"Ophelia! Honey!" She watched as the faker, fooled by her 'motherly' ways, came bounding towards her, flowers in hand. She mumbled something incoherent that Gertrude didn't care about. God, what a complete little shit, thinking she could get away with this. Like she cared about fennel or whatever it was.

The older women simply grabbed Ophelia by the hair and threw her into the water. "YEET! Die, bitch!" She screeched, peeling off her heavy dress so that she wouldn't bring herself down with the stupid girl and body slammed her further down into the water. The flower girl screeched a loud "HOEEEEEEEEEEEE," and the Queen mocked her and stuffed the flowers into her mouth. "Eat your stupid fucking flowers you dumb fucking horse!"

The Queen half stood half swam atop of the newly dead lily. (Yeah, lily, it means hate, she could sing about dumbass flowers too.) She pissed on her watery grave to assert dominance before getting out of the now yellow water. Suddenly she was dry, like she had never gotten in the water and her dress was on her like normal.

Now to fake some tears for that inconvenience of a brother of hers and try and convince her, soon to be dead, son she wasn't as much of a slut as he thought she was.

She wasn't a slut, she was just a psychopath, there's a difference.

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to grace. hi grace.


End file.
